


Single White Female

by avampireandhercupcake



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Humor, Personal Ads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-04 05:59:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6644137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avampireandhercupcake/pseuds/avampireandhercupcake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cat gets her daily dose of humor looking through the personal ads for crazy, desperate love seekers.  Kara thinks she's finally found a way to get her attention.  Ridiculous ficlet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Single White Female

Kara didn’t know why Cat was so amused by the personal ads on Craigslist, but she would catch her boss logging into the site when her day had been especially trying.  Sometimes she’d call Kara over to read something she found particularly funny.  Today, Kara was working on Cat’s couch on some edits when she heard Cat begin to snicker. **  
**

“Kiera, come here, read this,” Cat choked out through a condescending laugh.

“Single male seeks double-jointed supermodel who owns a brewery and grows her own pot...oh my...access to free concert tickets is a plus as is having an open minded twin sister?  Oh ew!”  Kara finished reading and scrunched up her nose.  “Goodness, Ms. Grant, why do you read this stuff?”

“It’s funny, Kiera.  People actually think they’re going to meet the love of their life through a text box, and not only do they think they can sell themselves for ten times their worth, they make these ridiculous demands that I would swear were satirical if I didn’t see the same ad appear again and again for weeks on end. Haven’t you a sense of humor?”

“I guess mine’s a bit different than yours,” Kara shrugged.

Cat sighed.  “Well, just keep yourself away from people like this, Kiera.  You won’t be finding any buried treasure in this pile of dirt.”  Satisfied with her day’s crop of desperate love seekers, she began typing away at the computer.

Kara studied her boss for a moment.  “How did you come to start looking at the personal ads anyway?”

Cat didn’t look up or acknowledge the question.  “I think it’s about lunch time, wouldn’t you say Kiera?  Lettuce wrap please, try to get it here before it wilts.”

Kara left, but the wheels were turning in her mind.

 

* * *

 

The next day, Kara stood behind Cat while she spent a solid five minutes lecturing the entire board in a voice she imagined was even worse than the tone she used when Carter was grounded.  Her boss didn’t yell (“I”m a woman Kiera, if I raise my voice it clearly must mean my menses are making me emotionally compromised”) but her cold, even tone was just as bad.

When it was over, Kara followed Cat back to her office and poured a drink, glancing over at the candy dish to make sure it was full.  Satisfied that Cat had what she needed, she smiled when she saw Cat at her computer, looking back to the personal ads.  Kara placed the drink on her desk and stepped back, but didn’t leave.

Cat glanced up at her assistant.  “Okay, _thank you_ ,” she said, and waved Kara off.  Kara fidgeted but didn’t walk away.  Cat gave her an annoyed, questioning look.

“Oh, um, I know you’re stressed out and as such you’re probably going to look at those ads again and...I don’t know, yesterday you showed me that they could be pretty funny so I wanted to look with you again.  If that’s okay of course,” Kara explained.

“Hmm,” Cat shrugged.  “If you like.”  She swiveled the monitor so they could both see.

“Oh, here’s a fun one.  Are you a struggling young female who is attractive and slender?  Consider ‘Mistress.’  Interested?  This financially independent male, 35, wants to meet you.”  Cat looked Kara up and down slowly.  “That could be for you, Kiera,” she teased.

Kara shuddered.  “I don’t think _that’s_ quite what I’m interested in,” she bit out, starting to wonder if her plan had been a really, really bad idea after all.

Staring at the screen and trying to slow her breath, she knew she was about to find out.  Cat had her eyes focused on the next ad and Kara knew what it said.

“Interesting,” Cat mumbled.  “Single white female seeks powerful attractive woman.  Children are a welcome plus.  Willingness to date younger employees is a must.  Tolerance of feline puns not necessary.”  Kara held back her smile at the last words she wrote.

“Wow, you sound perfect for her,” Kara supplied, praying that desperate didn’t just become one of the insults Cat could choose to throw at her.

“Indeed,” Cat mused.  “Well Kiera, I never imagined I’d answer one of these god forsaken ads, but it seems that someone has broken through to me.  Perhaps you could set up a date for me and this mystery woman, tonight at seven?”

Kara’s face faltered for a moment, but the playful glint in Cat’s eyes soothed her immediately.  She grabbed Cat’s office phone and dialed the number on the screen, promptly bringing her eyes back to Cat’s, as a smile spread across her face.

Kara’s cellphone rang in her slacks pocket and she dug it up to answer it, one phone on each ear.  

“Kara Danvers.   **Yes this is Kara Danvers.  I’m calling to answer the personal ad on behalf of Cat Grant**.”

“Kiera, you look ridiculous,” Cat admonished, but without its usual bite.

“Oh I’m sorry, is that her in the background saying Kiera?  I’m Kara, I don’t know if I want to go on a date with someone who doesn’t know my name…”

“If you don’t drop the phones and finish your work before 7:00, neither Kara nor Kiera is going on any date,” Cat responded, raising an eyebrow.

Kara dropped both phones dramatically.  “I had to try.”  

**Author's Note:**

> Chely Wright, singer of "Single White Female", did turn out to be gay....seemed appropriate ;)


End file.
